Where are You Lord that I may believe in You?2011. okt 12.

Crowds of pilgrims are anxiously waiting in the gate of the ancient temple anticipating admission. Longing to see, to touch, possibly to kiss the place where our Lord Christ was born according to the traditions and where Mary laid Him in the manger.

Peculiar devotion is seen in the faces as the pilgrims are waiting and making their way centimeter by centimeter, continually getting closer to the desired goal. Someone is stepping calmly, waiting in the line while already inside the gate of the temple, he will not be shut out from here. Someone is shifting, seeking a vacant place, and persistently pushing ahead towards the deepening of the cave.

Some are mumbling prayers sitting at the foot of the coloumn rubbing the rosary between their fingers. Some are still keeping the devotion in the exhausting minutes of the line, and are acclaiming the Virgin Mary. Beside the Catholic, diverse Orthodox and Protestant believers, a group of Christians arriving from India, wearing Indian clothes are coming into view. Pilgrims coming from many lands, but one aim is burning in their hearts. To get in. To the core of the cave.

And you are there, the searching tourist, myriads of questions are buzzing in your head asking why? What is this place? What does it all mean to the simple Orthodox believers? Why are they waiting in line for many hours to touch, kiss the silver star for several moments which indicates that the Savior has been born. And the end of everything, two harsh Arabian guards beat your remnant piety, clap and drive along the pilgrims to leave and allow others to come.

Then you step out the temple and something monumental touches you. You almost feel the might. The colossal stones encompass you, the height dazes you, and you feel that you are too small for all this, and you still don’t understand. You can’t comprehend why this much beauty? Why the pilgrimage, the touch, the kiss if an assembly line ruins all this in you in the next moment?

Emerging from the crowd in the several flicker of stillness a low voice speaks up in reply. I am here, close to you. Closer than you could get to the silver star. Closer than the man stepping before you to whom the crowd drove you against. Closer than anyone else can be to you. I am there in the big, overwhelming stillness when there is no one to whom you could speak. I am with you there in the lonely crowd. I am there beside you. Then come along and see!

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